


Finding Your Voice

by Sashataakheru



Series: Finding Your Voice Roy/Rick Queer AU [2]
Category: The Move RPF
Genre: Confessions of love, First Time, M/M, Past Relationships, Secret Relationships, community: seasons of kink, vouyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-19
Updated: 2015-06-19
Packaged: 2018-04-05 03:56:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4164804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sashataakheru/pseuds/Sashataakheru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Imagining what the first night in bed will be like is nothing like the real thing, but Roy finds that's the least important thing when Rick has his arms around him at last.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Finding Your Voice

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt 'first time' for season of kink 2015. [Card is here.](https://3evilmuses.dreamwidth.org/80608.html)
> 
> This idea has been bugging the hell out of me for the past several months. If I write it, it might finally leave me alone.

The van pulled to a stop, and Roy found himself nudged awake. Blinking, he gazed at the dark street, barely recognising it. He hadn't been deeply asleep, the trip hadn't been long enough for that, but it was late, and he was content to let the drive home happen around him. It stopped him watching Rick, and thinking about what he wanted to ask him, once they were alone. 

"Where are we, then?" Roy murmured, sounding more tired than he really was.

Rick gestured to the house they were parked in front of. "I believe this is your place? This is the address you gave me, yeah? Only I don't know Sutton very well. I hope I haven't got the wrong street." 

Roy looked around, trying to identify anything familiar. Rick offered patience, in spite of how late it was. It was hard to see, he was never sure there were enough street lights to fight off the darkness, but it looked like it was the right place. "I'm not sure I know it well enough myself. Looks about right, though. You coming in, then?" He forced himself to ask it before he chickened out.

Rick looked at him, confused. "Coming in where?"

"I mean, you can drive all the way back home if you like, but, I…" Roy trailed off, unsure he wanted to make the offer at all. He sounded braver in his head. "Don't think I didn't see you looking at me all night. I can tell when I'm being admired."

Rick looked away, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. "I-I don't know what you're talking about, I-"

Roy made a point of moving his hand onto Rick's thigh. It was as bold as he was willing to get while they were still able to be observed. He leaned in close, speaking as loudly as he dared. Perhaps no one would hear, but that wasn't the point. "Seen you at the club. In leather. With that bear you love so much."

Rick shivered, unable to refute the truth of his words. Roy moved his hand a little closer, and leaned in to whisper in his ear, "I watched him fuck you."

Roy had brought him into a kiss before Rick had time to comprehend it. Roy really hoped they weren't being watched, but a part of him didn't care anymore. He felt he ought to be able to kiss whoever the fuck he liked, even if he only felt that brave when he wasn't in public view. He could feel Rick's hands trembling as he pulled away.

"Please, don't say anything. They'll kill me if they ever find out," Rick breathed. 

"I won't, I promise. I haven't told anyone. No one knows about me, either," Roy said, holding his hands in a bid to reassure him.

Rick stared at him, trying to read his expression. "But, I – wait, you watched me?" he managed to say.

Roy looked ashamed for a moment, and turned away, fighting off any serious arousal that was threatening to come through just thinking about what he'd seen. "I'm sorry. But I just like watching you. The way your face looks when he's – well. The way your body moves. I just – you just looked so beautiful. Maybe I should've just talked to you, but I just. I felt you were taken, so I stayed away. Sorry."

Rick offered a confused look. "But, wait, I've been going to that club every week for the past three years. How have I never seen you there before?" 

"I've only been going there a year and a half, I think. I learnt to be discreet. I doubt anyone really knows I go there. I lied about my age so I could get membership. I was too scared to approach you, in case you knew I wasn't old enough to be there and you recognised me. Sorry," Roy said, feeling a little guilty for blagging his way in, but not sorry enough that he wouldn't do it again if given the choice. At least there was an age of consent now, though it didn't exactly make their lives any easier or free from abuse. Roy still felt he walked around with a target painted on his back.

"Alright, so exactly how old are you, then?" Rick asked.

"Twenty one. And four months," Roy said. "But I just wanted to see you, like, away from the gigs and everyone else."

"How did you even know I went there? I never told anyone about that for a bloody good reason," Rick said.

"I might've followed you one night. 'm sorry, Rick," Roy mumbled. "I thought you might've just been going home, but you went there instead, and once I knew what it was, I wanted to get in as well. You were never going to notice me or talk to me, not in public, not about that."

"And yet, you never spoke to me in all that time?" Rick said. "I only loved that bear because I couldn't have you. If I'd known you were there, I'd have approached you. Why didn't you say anything?"

Roy decided to deflect the question. "I got too scared. All those big lads, y'know? And that bear you were always with. I just – I never felt brave enough to say anything. Why do you think you got the gig? I didn't want to be alone in the band anymore. This felt safer than the club. Bev, Charlie, they're great, but they don't understand like you do. I just wanted you, away from everyone else."

"Did you seriously ask me to join your band just so you could ask me out?" Rick said. 

Roy shifted and turned away from him. "Well, not, I mean. Maybe. I just – wanted to get to know you. Maybe you aren't interested. I just wanted to be sure, either way. And you are a good bassist, so."

Roy reached for his hand, trying to calm himself down as much as settle Rick's nerves. He'd never told anyone before. Never felt brave enough. How were you meant to court someone you liked when you couldn't just say it in public and not worry about being bashed? When you could be recognised on the street and be outed in the tabloids if they hated you enough? 

Rick was silent, staring ahead at the road. Roy couldn't read his expression. Rick didn't move his hand away, though, and Roy liked that feeling of connection. Perhaps he wasn't about to be rejected, after all, but he wasn't willing to feel certain about it just yet.

"Stay with me tonight? Please? I just don't want to sleep alone for once in my life," Roy said, breaking the silence. "I'm 21, I live alone, I swear. You'll be safe, I promise. No one will ever know. And we're bandmates. So no one will care if you're here overnight after a gig. It's not like I'm short of a few bedrooms in that place."

"You do know what you're asking, don't you? Have you ever done this before?" Rick said.

"I – I know what I'm asking. I know what I want. But- I mean, if you're not interested, that's fine. I can just- you can drop me off, and I'll see you tomorrow?" Roy said, suddenly afraid he'd pushed him too far. Perhaps he was too young for him, after all.

Rick moved closer and touched his thigh. "No, no, I'm interested. I just want to be sure it's what you want. I don't want any misunderstandings."

Roy felt the heat rising through him as Rick's hand moved to his groin, rubbing him gently. This was definitely what he wanted, right? The swelling in his jeans suggested it definitely was.

"I-I'll get the gate, just drive it through, will you?" Roy said, scrambling to get out, eager to get inside.

Rick's filthy reply was drowned out by the door shutting as he left the van to open the gate. There was never enough light, but he managed to find the latch and the gate swung open. He heard the van starting behind him and stood back as Rick drove through to the house. He couldn't help glancing down the street in case anyone had been watching, just before he shut the gate, just to be sure. 

Leaving the street behind him, he went over to the van, where Rick was retrieving their instruments. It took all Roy's strength to keep his mind on the job as they took the rest of their gear inside. It was left unceremoniously dumped in the front room, and once they were done, Roy locked the front door, and pulled Rick into his arms, finally feeling free to kiss him without fear. 

"I've wanted to do that for so long," Roy breathed. 

"You should've just said something at the club. I'd have dropped that bear in a heartbeat for you," Rick said.

"I'm sorry, I was scared you wouldn't want me. I'm nothing like those other lads. Why would you want someone like me?" Roy said.

Rick pressed a kiss to his forehead. "I saw you with The Move, back in '66, and I couldn't take my eyes off you. You're light years ahead of everyone else around here. That's why I said yes when you asked me to join the band. Why wouldn't I want a piece of that?"

"Come to bed? Please? I'm tired of sleeping alone in this big house," Roy said.

"Of course. Lead on," Rick said.

Roy couldn't help kissing him again before leading him up the stairs to his room. It did sometimes feel like such a daftly large house for one person, but after sharing a house with his parents and three siblings, he was ready to live alone and make it his own space, at least for a while. It still wasn't quite perfect, because he was too busy to spend time really decorating and arranging the house the way he wanted it to be, but one day, when he had a break, it was going to get done. That's what he kept telling himself, anyway.

Roy pulled him down onto the bed with him, and enjoyed bringing him close. It felt good to have a man in his arms, and in spite of how tired he was, he had energy enough for this. They shared another kiss, and their hands began undressing each other. 

"I never went with anyone at the club, y'know," Roy murmured as Rick sucked hard on his collar bone.

"You missed out on some great sex," Rick drawled, glancing up at him. "You ever been with a man before, then?" 

"Once, when I was seventeen. There was a boy in one of my art classes, and he wanted me to model for a project he was doing. I went to his place, and we were all alone, and after a couple of drinks, we ended up in bed together. We dated in secret, but he moved away after that year finished, and I never saw him again," Roy admitted. "I've never told anyone that before."

Rick offered a look of intrigue. "Oh, so we're not a virgin, then? I'm shocked. I thought you were the sort of boy who'd be too shy to be with anyone, not when you're that young. He must've been very handsome to have led you astray like that."

Roy blushed, and looked coy. "He was barely older than me, actually. But he had these deep blue eyes, and he was just so sweet to me. Maybe we never loved each other anywhere but at his house, but it was enough. There, I could breathe. I could be free. I was so sad when he wasn't there anymore."

"And yet here you are, chasing after me like a shy school girl, hmm?" Rick said.

"I, well, I – I just think that there's – aaah-"

Roy found himself a little lost for words as Rick's hands got to work on his cock, slipping his jeans down his legs as he began stroking him. 

"Less talking, more fucking. That's what you want, isn't it?" Rick grinned as he bent down to lick the head ever so gently.

Roy squirmed, and nodded a yes to him. A gasp was lost in his throat as Rick took him into his mouth. It was a totally different experience doing this now that he was older. He hadn't expected his lust to be as strong as it was. He was so used to suppressing it that it had almost become normal to not feel anything for anyone. But now Rick was kicking his trousers off, and Roy could see his hard cock, and all he wanted to do was fuck him. Or get fucked by him. He wasn't really sure which he wanted to do first. 

Rick straddled his chest, and offered his cock. Roy didn't waste any time taking hold of it. He'd seen him naked before, and this wasn't as much of a surprise as perhaps it might've been, but he wasn't watching from afar this time. He had that beautiful cock in his hands, and stroking him just made him harder. 

"Did that beautiful boy from art school fuck you? You ever had a cock inside you?" Rick said as he reached behind him to stroke Roy's cock. 

"I-I, uh, I think he did, I-"

"Do you want me to fuck you, then? Or would you rather fuck me?" Rick said. "I don't care, either way. Sex is sex."

Roy suddenly felt flustered, and wasn't sure what he wanted at that moment, except sweet relief. He could feel Rick slipping a finger between his legs to press gently against his anus; it wasn't entirely erotic, but turned on as he was, his discomfort wasn't that great. 

"Oh, I don't think I-" 

Roy wasn't really thinking then, as Rick gently slipped a finger inside him. He closed his eyes and drank in the sensation, holding on tight as Rick stretched him. It was making his cock ache, and there came a point where he just couldn't stand the teasing anymore. He grabbed Rick's arms, and decided what he wanted to do as he rolled Rick onto his back. 

"I just – I need to see your face, I just-" Roy breathed as he reached for some lube. 

Rick smiled as he watched his face grow flustered as he prepared him. Rick stroked his own cock as encouragement as Roy settled between his legs, pushing a couple of fingers inside him. Rick grabbed a pillow for his back, and got comfortable as he felt Roy's cock pressing against his arse. 

"Well, if you're going to, now's as good a time as any," Rick said.

Roy leaned over him, gazing into his eyes as he slowly guided himself inside Rick. The look of sheer relief on his face made Rick smile. 

"Oh, god," Roy whispered, pausing a moment to drink in the wonderful sensation of being inside another man again. It had really been far too long, and repressing his urges had not done him any favours. 

Rick reached for his hand, grasping their fingers together, and nodded his encouragement. "Go on, you won't hurt me. No one's judging you here. Take your pleasure. You're with a kindred spirit."

Roy leaned down and kissed him, and Rick felt tears on his cheek as Roy pulled back. Rick reached up and wiped his eyes, brushing his hair out of his face. Roy smiled.

"I'm so daft, I know. But I've wanted you, I've wanted this, for so long. I never thought this would ever happen. I never thought you would ever want me. This is really happening, isn't it?" Roy said, voice glittering with awe.

"It's really happening. So you might want to get on with it, yeah? You feel so good inside me. Fuck me hard, yeah? I need a good one tonight," Rick said.

"I'll do my best," Roy promised. He breathed out as he moved back, getting used to how it felt. He wasn't sure how long he would last, given how long he'd been denying himself, but he pushed on, seeing Rick's face flush with arousal. 

He almost wanted to start slowly, but it offered a far more frustrating experience, and just made him thrust faster. Rick didn't seem to mind, and he began stroking himself in time to Roy's movements. Roy still felt like it was too rushed. He'd always imagined this moment as being far more romantic and lingering than it currently was, where they were both chasing their pleasure as quickly as possible. 

But his reflections didn't last long. Rick pulled him into a kiss, and Roy thrust harder, knowing he was close. His mind was completely blank, except for Rick's whisperings, telling him about all the things the bear used to do to him at the club. Imagining Rick being suspended by ropes from the ceiling so he could be fucked in interesting positions finally pushed him over the edge, and he gasped and grasped onto the sheets as he came hard, overtaken by lust. 

The next sensation he was aware of was Rick slowly stroking his forehead with his fingers. Roy blinked, feeling warm, and exhausted. Rick smiled at him. 

"Did I drift off, hey?" Roy murmured. 

"Nah, but you might've done if I'd left you alone. D'you feel better now, hey?" Rick said. 

"Yeah, yeah, I'm – I did alright, then?" Roy said. "Only I'm a bit out of practice."

"Yeah, you'll keep." Rick pressed a kiss to his forehead. "Go to sleep, Roy. You won't sleep alone tonight."

Roy didn't stop his eyes closing. There was some shifting around, and he felt Rick bring him close. Then, when they were still and settled, Rick kissed him goodnight, and Roy fell headlong into a deep sleep.


End file.
